For how long?

It sucks. When you feel everyone is just as annoying as nyonyo. When you feel that everything is wrong. Every single thing that people do is WRONG. And you feel like stabbing all of them hard to the core. It's called pms. And that's what exactly i'm going through right now, at this very time. And i hate everyone within 0,5 metre radius from me, including mas2 108 karena kelamaan ngomong waalaikumsalam.
Sharusnya gue bisa as chill as i've been selama ini. Cuman kali ini kayaknya udah klimaks bgt i barely hold on. Saat lo ngerasa semuanya itu payah dan worthless, dan rese dan ngeseli dan segala macamnya (lo sebutin aja satu kamus hal2 yang ngebetein dalam berbagai bahasa), tiba2 semua hal yg ngebetein itu ilang kayak keisep blackhole trs lo akan mulai mikirin hal2 di luar hal2-yg-ngebetein tadi. Things that youve been hiding for quite long. Things that you just dont want to discuss but you cant deny that you still craving for the solution itself. Things that you pretend never happened. Things that seems so blurry that when you try to recall it, it feels so hurt. Things that come up in my mind suddenly and replace all of today's-suck-things and in the end, made me cry (out loud).
Sebenernya sih ga keluar2 amat ya air matanya cuman semua hal2 ketek itu cukup membuat gue tremble sambil sesek kesakitan, kedengeran lebay emang tapi memang begitu yg gue rasain. Di saat hati lo yang menangis tak bisa digambarkan lewat air mata lo. Wakaka ketai.
Yah pokoknya suck aja semua suck. Gue sedih mikirin hal yang seharusnya ga gue pikirin dan emang ga ada abisnya jadi cuman wasting soul aja kl dipikirin.
Galau selamanya ini mah.

Quiet

Baby says I can't come with him

And I had read all of this in his eyes

Long before he even said so

Why go, I asked

You know and I know why

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

Take care

I've been hurt before

Too much time spend on closing doors

You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you

Goodbye

Don't cry

You know why

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery

As they steal your best memories away

What if I was someone different in your only history?

Would you feel the same

As I walk out the door

Never to see your face again

Never to see your face again

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

It'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything to change when I leave

-Quiet by Rachael Yamagata

I found this song really.. hurtful?painful?suffocating?

It's just so sad.

And I knew this from HIMYM soundtrack.

My Corner

One of my favorite and best spot in my house. The corner of my Living Room.
What's so great about it? It's because there is air conditioner, comfy sofa and last but the best is the way that sun shines through the window is just perfect.
A book and a corner in my living room is one of my heaven on earth. I can sit all day and night long there just to read a book or some books. And after I've finished one, I feel so great and leaving the living room like a boss~

And by the way I still have 4 new books. 2 of them are still wrapped and the other 2 are read. But only a couple of pages...... But I swear I'll finish them all!
Oh one of them is about fantasy, the title is The Leap by Jonathan Stroud who happen to be my one of my fav author. He's the Bartimaeus Trilogy's author which happened to be one of the bestseller novel. Yes it is. Yes he did it.
One of them is about true story, it called "Tuesdays With Morrie" by Mitch Albom. I've bought another book of mitch called "For one more time" 3 weeks ago and yes I like it a lot. Why? I like his way of telling story, it's just cool and easy reading. For me... And he's not just any author, his book tuesdays with morrie is a bestseller too.
Two of them are about romance.
The first one is "Antologi Rasa" by Ika Natassa. A local writer. Haven't heard of her name but I like the synopsis so I decided to bring that book along with me. And to be honest, I'm really looking forward to read that book...
The second is "Infinitely Yours" by Orizuka. It's about cosmological something I dnt understand. It's tisya's thingy. And it has korean taste. Lot of it I guess.. I think that whole book is about korean-_- whatever I still think it's a good read anyway~

That's all about my current new books and I think it's about time to continue my reading. So see ya!


Astrid Larasati

SuMATIf

A week of sumatif has gone by.
But the real sumatif is just about to start.

Yes, now it's the 2nd week of sumatif. In this 2nd week there are 3 days of sumatif.

The first day which is today. Is Physic.
Yep and I haven't mastered all the materials. And today's test was a(nother) big Failure which I hope is not.

The second day, is Biology and EP.
Yes, EP. Bukan praktik, tp teori. OR secara teori. Backsound: "Wasting timeee all along you've just been wasting mineeeh!"
Biology nya nih yang uurrrghhhh gaaaahhhh aaaargghhh ggyyaaaaaa. Materinya 6 bab. Soalnya kalo ga 50 ya paling 60. Dan dari 5 bab awal yg keluar katanya cmn 30 soal. Met bgt yaw MET BGDH. Jadi alhasil so finally akhirnya~~ gue bljr bab2 awal dari bta aja. I've worn out pleaseeee I've tired enough lho. Kenapa di saat saat begini keliatannya time doesn't pass with a blink of an eye like it used to sih hiks. Dan kalo kata tisya sih "kita sedang ditertawakan semesta" well semesta, I'm tellin you, it's not funny at all, beb! Tp emg gue nya jg sih yg agak males2an. Hmmm gue yakin kalo gue niat bgt seniat niatnya umat plg ganiat, pasti gue bs bljr dgn bener trs akhirnya bs ngerjain soal2nya dgn lancar tanpa hambatan kayak tol cikampek kalo lg hari sekolah. Tp nyatanya gue jg males2an gini hfftt. Abs post ini gue bljr deh hmmmm. Anyway, the last and yes the least, and wait.. The worst. Is~~~~~~~

The third day, MATHELLMATIC.
Ups sorry did I spell it with hell? Well yes apparently it does.
I don't have any idea what am I gonna do with this last and super least subject. Crying out loud inside maybe? Not helping. Gangerti deh mau gimana lagi gak kuku saya gak kuku mamaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ya mau gimana lagi mau gamau, sadar gasadar, terima gaterima, idup gaidup, mati maumati, tetep harus ngerjain dan belajar. Kehidupan remaja sman delapan yang penuh drama ya begini lah. Bentar lagi kayaknya gua rasa sman 8 tiap kelas tiap sudut tiap jendela mesti dikasih kamera ya. Biar kita bisa lambai2 sambil jerit2 "MAS TOLONG SAYA GAK KUAT. I GIVE UP! NYERAH MAS! HELP! TOLONG MAS LONTONG! SURRENDER! RELEASE ME! I'M BEGGIN FOR MERCY! AKO TRESNO KARO KOWE!" Oke yg paling belakang jangan dijeritin. Please math. Untuk bermiliarmiliarmiliarmiliartriliun kalinya saya bilang, saya nyerah. Please why don't u just be nice w me sekali saja sih? Hiks.
My life achievement's list yg paling atas nih ya: "GAREMED MAT LAGI. HAPPY FOREVER AFTER."
Gadeng. Gapaling atas. Setelah list ketemu Chris Martin of course yeah. Eh setelah dilamar Logan Lerman deng. Eh tunggu, setelah dicium freddie highmore! Oke gue lupa dmn letak list itu. Tp yg jelas ada dan I'm struggling to achieve it and I can't stop dreaming to achieve it. And I wish and believe that someday I will really able to achieve it.

Okay then enough with the drama scene, and let's study bio cid. Gila gue blm bljr smskl mamaaaaa I'm doomed for another day hihihiyy.
Bye lovers~ cupcupmuah

Astrid L♥

Sudah cukup lama setelah awan2 hitam itu menggantung, butir2 air pun mulai bertetesan. Aku bisa mendengar jatuhnya air di daun di atas kepala kami, terdengar begitu menenangkan.
Hujan makin lama makin deras tetapi kami masih bergeming. Aku bisa melihat ia bergidik lemah tiap air hujan mengenai leher telanjangnya, dan sesekali ia merapatkan jaketnya karena hawa dingin yang mulai merasuk. Tapi ia tetap bergeming.
Aku mengajaknya untuk mencari tempat berteduh sementara, ia bergeming. Wajahnya mulai pucat, lingkaran hitam di bawah matanya mulai menebal, matanya makin sayu dari menit ke menit dan aku bisa melihat jejak tipis yang ditinggalkan air matanya. Aku menduga ia sudah di sini sejak kemarin sore. Tetap bergeming dan tetap memandang kosong jauh ke horizon dibalik bukit sana.
"Kita bisa ke sini lagi besok. Kamu harus makan. Ayo kita kembali ke rumah." Ia bergeming. Aku mulai putus asa, ingin rasanya mendorongnya dan menggelindingkannya dari bukit kecil ini. Bukan ide bagus.
"Besok kamu pergi." Aku terlonjak sedikit. Suaranya berubah setelah sehari lebih di sini rupanya. "Besok cuacanya tidak akan seperti ini. Dan besok kamu tidak akan sepeduli ini." Kali ini aku yang bergeming.
"Besok tidak akan sama lagi." Lalu ia bangkit dan menatapku teduh, tatapan yang aku kira sudah lama hilang. "Besok kamu akan bersumpah pada dirimu sendiri untuk melindungi dia dengan hati dan ragamu. Dan saya bukan orang yang akan kamu lindungi lagi. Besok tidak akan pernah sama lagi." Ia tersenyum samar dan pergi turun dari bukit.
Aku bergeming dan seketika pandanganku buram terhalang air mata.