Should it?

Harusnya gaperlu usaha buat ketawa bareng mereka, gaperlu mikir buat ngobrol bareng mereka, gaperlu cemas mikirin gimana sikap lo di antara mereka. Harusnya gitu kalo mereka emang sahabat.

Mungkin lamanya waktu ga menentukan ikatan apa yang terbentuk, mungkin malah karena lamanya waktu ikatan itu malah justru mengendor. Termakan usia, orang biasanya bilang begitu. Tapi kalo buat kasus yang satu ini sih mestinya menguat ya. Tapi gatau juga deng. Karena setelah menganalisis lingkungan sekitar gue dan menganalisis praktek yg ada di lingkungan gue dan gue menemukan tidak ada yang aneh dengan "lingkungan" gue, berarti salahnya ada di gue.

Gue bingung juga sebenernya. Sedih sih lebih tepatnya. Capek aja mikir apa yang salah dari gue saat di satu sisi mungkin gue terlalu naif. Atau mungkin egois. Oh atau mungkin malah self-centered.
Guntar bilang sih gitu, mugkin emang bener. It's from other's perspective afterall. So who am I to object it.

Pengen curhat tentang ini, cuman bingung ke mana. Coba ini luar negeri ya. Pengen konsultasi ke psikiater. Pengen curhat doang sih sebenernya. Pengen tanya apa yang salah, di mana salahnya, gimana perbaikinnya. Udah macem progres inten aja.

Judulnya masih sama dengan sebelumnya.
Galau selamanya.

For how long?

It sucks. When you feel everyone is just as annoying as nyonyo. When you feel that everything is wrong. Every single thing that people do is WRONG. And you feel like stabbing all of them hard to the core. It's called pms. And that's what exactly i'm going through right now, at this very time. And i hate everyone within 0,5 metre radius from me, including mas2 108 karena kelamaan ngomong waalaikumsalam.
Sharusnya gue bisa as chill as i've been selama ini. Cuman kali ini kayaknya udah klimaks bgt i barely hold on. Saat lo ngerasa semuanya itu payah dan worthless, dan rese dan ngeseli dan segala macamnya (lo sebutin aja satu kamus hal2 yang ngebetein dalam berbagai bahasa), tiba2 semua hal yg ngebetein itu ilang kayak keisep blackhole trs lo akan mulai mikirin hal2 di luar hal2-yg-ngebetein tadi. Things that youve been hiding for quite long. Things that you just dont want to discuss but you cant deny that you still craving for the solution itself. Things that you pretend never happened. Things that seems so blurry that when you try to recall it, it feels so hurt. Things that come up in my mind suddenly and replace all of today's-suck-things and in the end, made me cry (out loud).
Sebenernya sih ga keluar2 amat ya air matanya cuman semua hal2 ketek itu cukup membuat gue tremble sambil sesek kesakitan, kedengeran lebay emang tapi memang begitu yg gue rasain. Di saat hati lo yang menangis tak bisa digambarkan lewat air mata lo. Wakaka ketai.
Yah pokoknya suck aja semua suck. Gue sedih mikirin hal yang seharusnya ga gue pikirin dan emang ga ada abisnya jadi cuman wasting soul aja kl dipikirin.
Galau selamanya ini mah.

Quiet

Baby says I can't come with him

And I had read all of this in his eyes

Long before he even said so

Why go, I asked

You know and I know why

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

Take care

I've been hurt before

Too much time spend on closing doors

You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you

Goodbye

Don't cry

You know why

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery

As they steal your best memories away

What if I was someone different in your only history?

Would you feel the same

As I walk out the door

Never to see your face again

Never to see your face again

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

It'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything to change when I leave

-Quiet by Rachael Yamagata

I found this song really.. hurtful?painful?suffocating?

It's just so sad.

And I knew this from HIMYM soundtrack.